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Apparently there’s a new Mad Max reboot coming out, and it looks awesome. I have nothing really to say beyond that, and will argue a tenuous link to our usual content on Asphalt & Rubber because motorcycles are one of the best ways to survive the onslaught Imperator Furisoa (Charlize Theron) in George Miller’s post-apocolyptic imagination.

It’s interesting to think about Hollywood’s inclusion of motorcycles in collapse-of-civilization scenarios though. Is it because two-wheeled transportation is the best way to get around when roads no longer exist, much in the same way that Riders for Health uses motorcycles to effectively get medical aid to remote locations?

Or, is it some subliminal message that Hollywood feeds off of (and thus also helps create) that tells us society has truly fallen apart if we are riding motorcycles…much like how a movie character’s act of smoking a cigarette was used to heighten his/hers cool or mysterious persona?

I don’t know the answer to those question, but it keeps me up at night. I am the Nightrider. I’m a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller!

It’s Sunday morning and after we hit the ATM, I ask Ash to check the event website and see what time tech inspection is. In my head, its sometime around 11:15, and no bikes are to be started before 12:00 on Sunday (at the request of a local church).

Ash reports that the web site says tech inspection is from 9-10 and that the rider meeting was at 10:15. Shit. I text Thor Drake (my boss from See See Motorcycles,who is sponsoring the event), it’s 10:24. We’re in Longview, driving a borrowed Mazda B2500 that has a terrible miss, which only gets worse with more throttle.

We arrive at the scene in Castle Rock, WA. There are people in shorts riding all manner of choppers, Thor is dressed in white 12 o’clocking a slice of Sizzle Pie that Bjorn Drake affixed to a Honda ATC200, something to do with some advertising deal, but no one cares. It’s awesome.

ADV riders and how-to junkies take note, the following is a video on how to MacGyver a motorcycle tire on and off a wheel, while using only zip ties — it might be the most impressive thing we’ve seen in a long while.

If you already own a set of tire irons, or even better a full-blown tire-changing machine, you can feel comfortable in your purchase-making decision, because they are by far the easier solution.

But for our readers who are on a budget or do a bit of touring, the following could keep you from being stuck on the side of the road, all for the tidy sum of $1 at your local hardware store.

Another year, and another April Fools Day is in the bag. I am fairly certain that for journalists, April 1st is better than Christmas Day, as it marks the one day where media outlets make the news the wish they could report on daily. And as usual, the imaginations of the motorcycle media pool didn’t fail to disappoint.

David had a wonderful timely piece on Red Bull acquiring the media rights to the MotoGP Championship, ousting Dorna from its position as Bridgepoint Capital cashed out its position. Red Bull has of course had its own issues in the Formula One Championship, and with energy drinks being the new tobacco, the premise was at least plausible.

Speaking of tobacco, we also ran a story about California mandating tabacco-style warning labels for motorcycles, a nod to our more libertarian readers and their growing concerns of “freedom” on two-wheels. Thankfully this story was a complete fabrication and not grounded in any truth, though maybe unfortunately for some, so was David’s piece as well.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

The start of the AMA Pro Road Racing calendar is just around the corner, and that means manufacturers, teams, and riders are getting their PR machines in full swing. Unfortunately, it’s hard to get excited about our venerable national racing series (DMG’s shenanigans aside), but duds like this don’t help in whetting our two-wheeled racing appetite here at Asphalt & Rubber.

Just when we were about to lose all hope though, Triumph shows up and saves the day…with a little help from Jason DiSalvo and Elena Myers. Kneedragging, wheelie popping, backwheel drifting two-wheeled fun, all packaged in a well-done YouTube video that even manages to show a little personality from the riders.

We dig it, we dig it hard. A quick warning though: several orange cones were hurt during the filming of this video. Some footage may not be suitable for adult-sized children with a history of brrraaappptitus. Thanks for the tip Matt!

I don’t have a good excuse as to why I want to post this video up on the site, other than the Ducati 1199 Superleggera is probably the most awesome motorcycle to come out in the past decade (apologies to any Honda DN-01 owners in the crowd).

An exercise in engineering prowess, which saw Borgo Panigale drop shed some serious weight from its venerable superbike, it should come as no surprise then that the 155kg (dry) Superleggera was a model put forth by Claudio Domenicali, a man who rose from engineer to CEO at Ducati Motor Holding.

That being said, I’m not sure we need a good excuse to fawn over the Superleggera. A magnesium monocoque frame, forged magnesium Marchesini wheels, carbon fiber rear sub-frame and bodywork (with integrated R-spec aero-kit), lithium-ion battery, titanium exhaust system with stainless steel headers, titanium bolts and fasteners…I’m sorry, what was I saying?

Why should the boys and girls across the pond have all the fun? Dirt Quake, the most fun you can have on a motorcycle while partially clothed, is headed to America. A dirt track event that is the product of good folks at Sideburn Magazine, Dirt Quake is…well…how do you describe it…it is just different.

The event will be held at the GNC track in Castle Rock, WA on May 31st thru June 1st. See See Motorcycles is co-hosting the event, which is either a good thing, or bad thing, depending on your opinion about motorcycle Cuisinarts. It should be good fun, either way. We hope to see you there.

Is Jorge Lorenzo the best racer in MotoGP right now? The topic is certainly open to debate, despite Marc Marquez winning the 2013 MotoGP Championship — after all, Lorenzo won more races than Marquez, and brought the championship to a final round decision, despite his mid-season shoulder injuries.

Wherever you fall on that side of the argument, you have to respect the young Spaniard’s two-wheel ability, as he is doing what he does on a clearly under-matched machine to HRC’s Honda RC213V.

Between the prodigy that is Marquez, and the power that is the Honda, it surprises us to see that Jorge has time in his busy schedule to help with the gardening at the various circuits. He’s just a class act like that.

A special shout out to the Dorna marketing department for making this video embeddable on third party sites…as it should be. The “I thought only Honda made lawnmowers” jokes start in 3..2..1..

After a week of watching Netflix with our loved ones, Asphalt & Rubber is finally back to the moto-news grind. If you’re anything like us, your egg is still a bit nogged, your pants don’t fit nearly as well as your pajamas did, and Monday came like the Queen of the Harpies to torment your soul in damnation. For those of you still on holiday, we hate / secretly envy you.

That’s ok though…we can do this. But, to get back into the spirit of things, here is something a little light-hearted: an epic parody, of Jean Claude Van Damme’s epic split. We have nothing but tremendous respect for JCVD and his magical inseam, but we have to give these bros some credit for their feat as well.

After all, this might end up being the one time that you want your friends to see you riding a scooter.

I am very proud to announce that my good friend and colleague David Emmett (check the reflection in Nicky’s sunglasses) has been named, not once, but twice in the 2013 Silverstone Media Awards for his coverage of the MotoGP Championship and for his website MotoMatters.

For the third year in a row, David has been named the Best MotoGP Blogger, something we already knew here at Asphalt & Rubber, which is why we feature his work, and this year marks David’s first time as the series’ top account on Twitter.

David is too humble to do anything other than announce his hat-trick of trophies, but I have no problems saying that his work is the definitive source for MotoGP commentary.

David’s true journalistic ethic and keen understanding of the internet as a medium of information has quickly distinguished him from his colleagues in the MotoGP paddock, and for all the hard work of his that we read on our computer screens, there is an iceberg of change underneath MotoGP’s murky waters that he has brought about.

Keep up the excellent work my good friend, I think I speak for all the Asphalt & Rubber readers when I say that Silverstone couldn’t have recognized a better man in MotoGP.

If you want to help support David’s site MotoMatters, you can take out a subscription; get one of the stunning MotoMatters.com 2014 Motorcycle Racing Calendars; buy a print from Scott Jones’ website; or simply make a donation.